This has me puzzled of recent. I have had 3 or 4 wonderful opportunities to contribute and submit my work on some prominent paying blogs and magazines, even a spot in the latest Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Sounds good right?
WRONG! I could not write about me! This did not make sense to me. I should be the easiest topic to write on! In fact, I have no problem expressing feelings in words. I rather write than talk! Every time I tried though….it just did not…the magic just didn’t happen. Nothing flowed out right. It turned out to be a painful outpouring of babbling.
It makes me wonder has my life been THAT painful? So painful to try and look back on it makes you want to just abandon all cause curl in a little ball and die? My life was not that bad, and the pain that was there I wanted to write about and share hoping maybe I could help someone to feel not so alone like I once did. Only I am left to discover it is a pandora’s box that might destroy all of my humanity if it is open.
I thought my past was resolved. I thought I was free. I was clean. Only to discovered I only resolved half of myself.